A Good Bra is Hard to Find...

It’s been an eventful two weeks: house-sitting, fender-benders, losing the mock court-martial (and more distressingly, losing a measure of faith in the integrity of some of my class members) rejected by PMF selection committee…and yet I am going to write about the really incredible thing that happened…I found a decent bra. Hurrah! And there was great rejoicing throughout the land. I may be unemployed and have rising car insurance but the girls are in peak form.

Before I continue, let me explain my enthusiasm. I have the same relationship with bras that most women have with jeans: ie I just can’t seem to find them in my size. This is frustrating; I feel left out and singled out, but I am not. Apparently, (as reported on Oprah) 85% of American women wear incorrectly fitted bras. This is unfortunate, as nothing puts a bounce (or, rather, maybe a little less actual bounce) in your step than knowing you are wearing a really awesome bit of lingerie. Somehow the sun shines brighter, the sky is bluer when you know that you are all tucked in and trucked out. To illustrate this point, I give you: a day with my bra:

7:00 am: Woke up, rolled over, went back to sleep
8:00 am: Repeat
8:35 am: Replayed and elaborated on pleasant dream – reality eventually intrudes (damn reality) – start running through list of ‘things to do.’ Wonder if I am really interested in accomplishing any of these things….
8:40: Ponder this for awhile…
8:45: After considerable deliberation I decide that there’s no place like bed and I can’t think of one really good reason to leave it (having accepted that when I leave bed bad things happen – as my car’s back bumper attests)…
8:46: About to snuggle down, shut it out and return to afore-mentioned fantasy-land when my eyes fall on it…my one good reason (in my self-indulgent and semi-depressive state) to get up and be happy about it: my shopping bag containing my new bra.
…..
8:47: “Oh, what a beautiful morning! Oh what a beautiful day! I’ve got a wonderful feeling, everything’s going my way.”
…..
8:50: The Bra is lovely: white lace, balconet cut, scalloped edges and the obligatory tiny bow in the center. I feel like a 1950’s bombshell – the good variety.
9:00: I can’t decide what shirt to wear. I try on several and discard them summarily as unworthy for The Bra’s Inauguration day.
9:05: BBC News Hour on NPR: Mugabe loses election in Zimbabwe, Zimbabwe suffers inflation at 100,000%, future uncertain; Ukraine’s petitions to enter NATO, Russia not happy; American recession; Bush on Afghanistan….and the headline at our house: Shirt selected for office (summit leaders reach universal consensus that it is a damn shame that there must be a shirt at all).
….
11:30: Still really excited about The Bra. It is wonderful
……..
1:05: Meeting with clinic professor on pending projects.
1:06: Professor and my partner discuss an upcoming speaker series at the University. I smile and nod beatifically and think about the awesome-ness of The Bra.
1:08: I wonder if I should order multiples? They say when you find a good product you should buy multiples. I wonder if they have it in blue?
1:10: I think balconet cut may be the most flattering on me. I wonder if I can find a balconet cut swim-wear.
1:11: Oh, Professor wants an update on our client…
...
2:30: In cubicle trying to draft policy paper but am, once again, distracted by The Bra. It happens. Start blogging on the bra instead of writing paper. Resist urge to escape to changing room to check out bra again.
2:45: Attempt to concentrate on paper
3:00: I stop resisting.
...
3:10: Trusts and Estates Class
3:17: Professor lectures on the “Dynasty of Perpetual Trust” – I start fantasizing about Chinese food.
3:31: I receive formal email notifying me that I was not selected as a Presidential Management Fellow finalist. I am bummed.
4:10: Class ends. Still bummed. Even The Bra fails to uplift and separate self from woes.
5:15: Bummed, bummed, bummity bummed. The lark’s on the wing, the snail on the thorn, God may be in his heaven but all is not right in my world.
6:00: Mom emails an encouraging note and an invitation out to dinner. I suggest Chinese. Things are less bleak.
6:15: Class ends early – definitely looking up!
6:40: Poor a glass of wine, Kick my shoes off, strip off my shirt. It is still a damn good bra.

Finis.